Yesterday I watched the movie Little. If you don’t know what it’s about, it’s about a 36-year old woman who used to be nerdy and bullied. She was told when she grew up and became the boss no one would bully her or tell her what to do. Well, she grew up to be the CEO of her own company and treated everyone like shit because she felt like she had to and that’s just the way it was.

There were a little girl outside of her business one day doing magic tricks and she didn’t want her there so she yelled at her. The girl couldn’t understand why she was being so mean so she waved her wand and wished the woman was little again. The next day the woman woke up and she was 13 again. She was the kid who was nerdy and bullied again.

During the movie, the CEO realized where she went wrong and when she figured it out and did the right thing, she woke up grown again.

Okay, this post isn’t to tell you about the movie. It’s to tell you about the message behind it. The CEO realized she could still be successful by being who she was. She didn’t have to be all the things she was told she needed to be. She didn’t have to fit in.

Not gonna lie. I cried. But I always cry. I cried for the girl I used to be. I cried because I know all too well what it feels like to not be you. It’s something I’ve been working on, but the memories of the sweet, young, naive girl I used to be still made me tear up. Shit, I’m doing it right now.

I wish I was at home. There’s a photo from a particular experience that I’d love to share but I can’t get to it. [Edit: my mom sent me one and I added it.] Anyway, here’s the story.

Middletown’s Junior High transitioned to a middle school the year I started 6th grade. So I left Truman Moon Elementary School and started off 6th grade at a new school. I was only there for a few months before we ended up moving back to Queens, but while I was there, there was a school dance. I remember being excited. It was the first dance I’d ever been to!

It was 1992. My best friend Cynthia wore a loose fitting, patterned button down shirt and baggy dark red jeans. I wore a black dress with a flower-patterned chiffon scalloping the edges. [I really wish I had that photo]. Anyway, when we got there I was so out of place. Everyone was in casual clothes. I was so embarrassed.

It made me sad to remember how little me felt and how most of us feel now. How much pressure we feel to be something we’re “supposed” to be. Imagine what it would be like to just be who you are without any fear of judgement. How liberating it would be to just be you and be 100% okay with that.

Just thinking about it makes me feel so happy and warm inside. It’s something I’m working on all the time.

I know it’s easier said than done, but I hope you are unapologetically you this week. Just give it a try because you know what? You’re great just the way you are.