“Be careful what you’re good at, you could end up doing it for years.”
Do you know Ashley Horner? If not, you should. She’s someone I have followed for a while and at first it was because she looked like a bad ass. Then I discovered she is a complete bad ass. A couple of years ago I came across this quote and thought it was thought provoking:
Screw that. Beyonce doesn’t have anything on Ashley. She is someone who inspires me in all aspects of life. Not only is she stunning, but she is a well-rounded athlete, entrepreneur, philanthropist, mother, animal lover, coach. Shit, she’s just a bad ass human being.
This morning as I scrolled through all of my social media feeds as I usually do, I came across this Instagram post from Ashely.
A few years ago I juggled so many different projects and while I felt very busy and sometimes overwhelmed, I felt a sense of pride and accomplishment. I started a roller derby league which gave people a reason to come together and it sparked life-long friendships, I was heavily involved in animal rescue serving as a cat volunteer and board member for Pet Welfare, and I was an instructor. I helped others.
Lately I have been feeling a little lost and demotivated and perhaps it’s because I’m missing a larger sense of purpose from my life. I have spent this past year rebounding from a life-changing experience and I have heavily focused on maintaining my emotional and physical well-being. I think I’m ready and need to focus on others.
I have been easing back into the dating game after an 11-year relationship ended without me wanting it to. I swore I would never do the online thing. I wanted to meet people like I did in the past, organically, but then I started thinking the online thing really wasn’t that bad. It’s a great way to meet more people, right? So I did it.
What I have discovered in my online dating adventures is actually kind of scary. THERE ARE SO MANY CHOICES OUT THERE! There’s an abundance of attractive, diverse people looking for other people and the internet makes it so easy to look for something better. Something different.
Perhaps I am being a little cynical, but how the hell is a relationship supposed to survive when it’s so easy to look for the next best thing?
“Even though he’s the one who did this to you. You never thought to question why.”
Amazing. Mer de Noms was released in 2000 and it’s still so fucking good.
It’s crazy how much your life can change in a year. Shit, even in a week. As 2016 begins, I think back about 2015 and can’t help but smile. At the same time I feel a little sadness there but know that I must leave that behind.
Today is January 3rd. Today would have been my 11th anniversary. Even though I feel at peace with what transpired between me and my ex, I can’t help but feel a little sorrow. We had a good thing going and for whatever reason(s), poor choices were made and things just didn’t work out. It kind of seems like a waste, but life goes on.
I am lucky. I have the opportunity to start from scratch but with newfound wisdom and life experiences. I have learned a lot about myself in the past year and I am grateful for that. I have made so many wonderful friends and for that, I am also grateful.
This year I hope to continue on my journey meeting new and interesting people, learning more about myself, exploring what this life has to offer, leaving behind people and things which no longer serve me, and strengthening my existing relationships.
I look forward to the new memories 2016 will create.
“The reason we struggle with insecurity is that we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”
I decided to revive my blog. I’ve erased all of the old content and I’m starting from scratch. It’s never too late to start all over again, is it? I didn’t think so. This year I have learned what I believe to be the most important lesson.
“The only thing that is constant is change.” – Heraclitus
In February my 10-year marriage ended. It was the one thing I always thought was not a variable. I was so wrong but I have learned so much because of it. I have learned that I lost a large part of who I was when I was with him. Don’t get me wrong. My marriage was not all doom and gloom. On the contrary, we had a great marriage. We had similar goals and values and shared tons of great experiences and memories together. Somewhere along the way I lost my sense of direction. I was codependent and I based my happiness off of his. I wanted to make sure he had everything he needed and I forgot about living life for me. As a
divorcee single woman I can do that again. I have found myself and I love her to pieces.
Life has been good to me this year. I look forward to all of the changes ahead and I am grateful for them.