We are over half way done!  I’m excited about taking a shower and using a real bathroom.  This morning my body odor reminded me of Jackie Morgan’s house.  I woke up feeling really swollen.  My eyes and my lips were puffy and it took me a while to focus.  I got up and took real good care of myself today.  I found a small stick to clean out under my fingernails and I put some deodorant on.  I flossed my teeth, ate some squirrel bag food, and took an Ibuprofen and Acyclovir.  Afterwards I brushed my teeth and I’m just going to hang out until they come get us.

I saw a squirrel on the tree this morning, first non-dog animal I’ve seen since we’ve been out here.

I was wondering what the rest of my world was doing on this Wednesday.  Did anyone miss me?  Did anyone try to get a hold of me?  Was anyone thinking about me?  Life is a crazy game, isn’t it?

I’m kind of chilly and a fire would be nice this morning but I burned all of my wood yesterday and I really don’t feel like gathering and processing more.  It’s a lot of work to make and sustain a fire.

Dre came by with squirrel bag refills (yay pepper jack cheese!) and some micro spikes.  They’d be nice to wear.  She said we might snowshoe tomorrow so I’m looking forward to that.  She did say that the sounds I heard last night were the sounds of ice forming.  Pretty cool!

Maybe I will make a small fire.  Some hot drink would be really nice right now.  Dre said they’ll come get us today around 3 or 4PM and we’ll head back to camp.  I’m excited about it because I know I’ll get a really good meal in!  I wonder what they have planned.  Tomorrow night will be our last night out too so that’ll be nice.  Friday we head back to homeplace so someone will pick us up and then we’ll clean all of our gear, take a hot shower, wear normal clothes, and sleep inside in the warmth.  I can’t wait to sleep on a somewhat real bed too!

10:30AM ish:  You know what would be great right now?  A book!  I guess now would be a great time to write my own.  THINKING!  I’m kind of working on a poop too…

1:40PM ish:  I enhanced my lounge rock with my sleeping pads and it’s really comfy.  I’ve been sitting here all morning.  I even fell asleep at one point.  It’s nice and relaxing in the sun.  Still a few more hours until they come and get us.  I was thinking about Eric and I still can’t believe all of the lies he told.  How he kept it all a secret.  I don’t know how he feels or whether he is thinking of me but as of right now I never want to speak with him or see him again.  So many lies.  He talked about Gone Girl and how sneaky Nick was having an affair.  He did the same thing shortly after.  Tsk tsk.  When I told him about a friend’s husband asking her for a blow job meanwhile he was speaking to a divorce attorney.  Tsk tsk.  Such a deceitful being.  Such  a liar.  I wonder what it feels like.  Being the person you despised the most.  I hope it feels good…

THINKING.

The sun is so warm and feels so good.  I think I need to poop again too but I don’t have any toilet paper left.  When we get back to camp I will keep using my secret bathroom.  I like it here.

It’s funny.  I didn’t know every detail of my life before but there was this false sense of direction. I knew I was going to be in a relationship and I knew I’d figure the rest out wherever we went.  Boy was that wrong.  Here I am and the only thing I know is that I don’t know.  I can see out 179 days.  That’s how far out my life is planned.  I know I’ll be working for the guard and living in that apartment for the next 6 months.  I know I’ll be going to Disney with Mark and Morocco in May.  I know I’ll go to Malta in July.  But that’s about it.  What happens past that is all a mystery to me.  Kind of crazy, especially since I’ve always been someone who wants or thought I needed control.

2:50PM :  Rescued at last!

It was nice to be back with everyone else.  When we got back to camp there were chores that needed to be done.  We needed to set up our sleeping area and feed the dogs.  I set my bed up under the trees where I did the other night.  Luckily there was already enough wood so we didn’t need to process anymore.  We hung out around the camp fire for a bit and had some hot drink.  Ed asked us to share information about ourselves and what we got from solo so I used that as an opportunity to share my story with everyone.  I told them I had found out that a little less than 4 weeks ago I walked in my home to find my husband of 10 years was having an affair.  I told them I was nervous about the trip, especially solo, since I didn’t know if I could be alone with my thoughts that long, but I was having an amazing time and learning to accept all of the changes in my life.  Additionally, we had to say 5 things about ourselves:  what are we good at, where are we headed, what do we hate, what are we committed to, and what’s something unique about us.  I shared that I was good at organizing things and details.  I wasn’t sure where I was headed and what I had recently learned was that I wasn’t going to make plans far out anymore.  I said I hated my husband and that I was committed to change.  The only constant in life is change.  Lastly I shared that I am a dual citizen and speak another language.  While we were on solo Dre and Ed set up the wall tent with the camp stove inside and when it got close to dinner time we all got inside.  It was pretty warm.  We had a pretty good meal too – complete with dessert!  Ed and Dre made us cinnamon rolls, chocolate cake with a cookie dough crust, and potato chowder.  Yum!

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